You might have come across certain individuals, everyone is eager to strike a conversation with them. It’s like they have some special ability or something attracting everyone.
To have an interesting Conversation is a skill everyone can posses. It might take some time to change your current habits that are rooted deep onto you, but it’s certainly possible to make you much more interesting and improve your conversational skills and thereby your social connections.
I have no intention of dragging this article to insane lengths and bore you to death, so without any further ado let’s start with the Common Mistakes and Simple Solutions to improve your skills.
- Asking Insane lots of Questions
Have you ever felt you are being Interrogated while having a conversation? My husband sometimes keeps on asking questions non-stop, mostly even before I can start to answer. I know it is out of sheer love and his concern for me. But sometimes I feel like being interrogated and eventually lose cool.
Asking questions is great, it shows you are interested about the other person; but there is a limit. If you keep on asking questions again and again then it can escalate from a pretty Conversation to Interrogation and turn their moods upside down, often get irritated and probably avoid having good talks with you in the future.
A simple solution is to STOP ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS AT ONCE. And if you must ask then give them a break. You can mix questions with statements and normal chit-chat so the other person won’t feel like they are being cornered.
- Answering in Short Single Words
I’ve been guilty of this mistake far more times than I can remember. Have you even been with someone, after you said lots of things with much interest and hope they simply nod their head or a simple “YES” or “NO”? This is a very rude and impolite behavior and can quickly make the other person feel ignored.
Especially when texting, it took someone 5 minutes to type that very long message only to receive a simple “OH” or a SMILEY, you must seriously think how the other person must be feeling. You just gave them a reason to avoid you in the future by this stupid mistake.
Always when talking, use complete and proper sentences, I am not saying about Grammar part but completion of sentence so other person don’t have to assume what you are trying to mean. And it’s really demeaning to make them ask you again and again over simple things because you are skipping most part. Often they feel frustrated by this behavior and will find to reasons to avoid engaging in healthy conversations with you. They are investing their time for you and definitely want you to reciprocate the same. So try to give interesting insights and unique compliments.
- Delivery Problems
One important thing you must understand is in any conversation What you say is not the important aspect, but How you say it and present it.
Slow down little bit, you may think you sound very profound but maybe you are talking too fast and the other person is struggling to keep up and understand what you are saying. You can try recording yourself talking and be amazed by what you find.
To slow down there is an actual proven method, if you take deep breaths while talking then automatically you start to slow down and things becomes clearer. After a little bit of practice this will become your routine habit and work in auto-mode.
Adding small pause in between sentences can create a little bit of anticipation and suspense which will in-turn make people listen to you more eagerly and attentively. Notice small details and provide valuable feedbacks.
- Body Language
The most powerful of all languages is what the body speaks. With this unique skill you can convey your feelings,reactions,needs and attitude whenever as you please.Body language is a vital part in any healthy conversation, while someone is talking very seriously and you are lost in your own thoughts. This is an instant-conversation Killer mostly with the other person lashing out on your for ignoring them. Your posture should give the other person a warm feeling you are listening to their every word eagerly and they will open up more into their lives. Try to keep a good eye contact for atleast half the time you are talking.
- Not Listening Enough
Verbal communication contributes only 33 percent to the whole range communication. The rest 67 percent is all about listening. Most people never listen; they are either simply acting or patiently waiting for their turn to speak.
“You should listen properly, you can learn a whole lot of things simply by listening carefully “
Nobody wants to talk with someone who never listens. And while you listen on actual sense you will start to learn more about the person you are with, details you never knew which can lead to a very deep conversation. When someone mentions anything, you can ask few questions which will show you are more interested and they will open up even more giving you even further information.
- Stop Being Boring
My husband at times talk non-stop about the stupid Games he once played with lots of enthusiasm, dramatically explaining how he killed someone in Dota or some new gadgets or technological terms which I have neither an interest nor any idea about. You should learn to stop when the topic is getting stale.
Stop whining about your bad job or tough day; nobody is interested in that except your loved ones. Be an interesting personality with diverse topics at hand, so you have a say at almost anything that pops up. And this will help you connect very easily with others.
The same can be said about negative and weird topics as well, while there is nothing wrong letting someone know about a bad incident like accidents, murders, bad health or anything similar, clinging on to same topic and explaining elaborately is not something everyone enjoys. And please do not be the person sharing or showing off gruesome and gory pictures, people are going to consider you a very negative personality and avoid you next time.
Having a quality conversation is a must, it improves your mood, social circles and more importantly opens up new possibilities. Being a good conversationalist is not at difficult as you think; it’s certainly possible with little changes to your ingrown old habits and social awareness.
I hope I was able to succeed giving you some worthy tips to improve your conversation skills. Drop anything I missed below in the comments section and let’s improve ourselves together.